Browse Category by The Sticky Side of Life
The Sticky Side of Life

Dear Moms, You don’t have to do “All the Things”

Dear Moms, You don't have to do all the THings. Mom Struggles. Real Mom Confessions. Mom Bloggers. Mom Truths. Mom Tribes. Mom Inspirations. Mom Winning. As I sit here, looking {way too} forward to school starting again, I’m reflecting on all the things we didn’t do this summer. It turns out I’m okay with that. I’m okay with doing all the things on my list, and not necessarily all the things the world thinks I’m supposed to be doing.

All the Things

Today, on Instagram {where else?} Jessica wrote a comment on this post saying, “Jeez girl, I need some of that hustle juice you’ve got going on!” which, from her perspective was totally accurate because I did just post back to back posts of my present hustles. But, it occurred to me that some people seeing my posts might think I’m doing all those ambitious things on top of all the things most moms are doing or have to do. When the reality is I’m not.

Top 10 List

It’s true, Moms must do “all the things” daily, and I know I’ve most definitely been impressed by another mom working really hard on all her “things” she loves. {Here are a few: Kelsea Joann Photography, Pink Pinecone Studio, Canyon Craft Company} Or, I’ve been extra impressed when she was doing that “eleventh” thing. I’ve determined that Moms {because we’re super heroes} can go above and beyond and do “all the things” to an extraneous list of about 10 things. I did reusable diapers, a compost bin, and some other very crunchy, super-awesome Mom things.

But 10 is my limit

So, when you’re sitting there reading my posts and thinking that I’m doing “all the things” on top of all the other things everyone else is doing too, I’m not. I only have room for my 10 because I choose not to do many of the super-awesome things many other moms do. I want to be very clear to the world that I am not doing 20 of “all the things” and that’s okay. I’ve chosen my list very carefully, so I stay sane. It may come as a shock to you, but when you see me posting about my 4 little businesses, all my crafting, and the massive Wedding Planning Event Adventures, I can only do those things because I’ve made room for them on my list of “all the things” I’m willing to juggle. Some major items had to leave my list for me to succeed.

Dear Moms, You don't have to do all the THings. Mom Struggles. Real Mom Confessions. Mom Bloggers. Mom Truths. Mom Tribes. Mom Inspirations. Mom Winning.

5 things not on my List

I don’t do laundry

{It’s true. I don’t. I know #jawdrop} Every other mom out there is always climbing her mountain of laundry and we all celebrate her for conquering one of her things. She’s an amazing mom because it’s a major stress and then accomplishment every week, or even day that she wins. She deserves a medal she really does.  I admire her. On her list of all the things, laundry is a big one. But that’s a battle I choose not to do. Who does our laundry? My husband does. He always has. I do my one load of laundry once a week. He does the rest.

I don’t sew

There are some epic moms out there who knock sewing out of the park on their list of all the things. From handmade dresses to elaborate Halloween costumes, these moms are the best of the moms. But not me. I own a sewing machine, but you will never see me make a piece of clothing with it.

I don’t pack school lunches

I will be a hot lunch queen. Why on earth would I take the time to make my kids a lunch when there is someone there to make it for them. Take my money. That is not on my list of all the things. I admire the moms who make faces and artistic scenes out of broccoli, which their kids love to eat. Mine will have to learn to live without that. Does that make me a worse mom? Nope, it’s just not on my list of “all the things” I do. I will happily wave that ship goodbye as it sails away from me.

I don’t cook

I am a crock pot champion though! High Five to all those moms out there surviving their day and then cooking a dinner. You’re truly amazing. I wish {so does my husband} that cooking was on my list of all the things, but it just doesn’t fit.

I don’t do parks

Not unless I want to have a stroke anyway. Parks and jungle gyms are not my things and you will never catch me having a play date there. Seriously, never. When my children climb a ladder or sit on a swing I only envision instant death. #anxiousmomsyndrome. This mom will leave that trip on dads list of all the things. He’s much better at that!

The Main Point

Dear Moms, you don’t have to do all the things the other moms are doing. You’re still a great mom. After all I’ve listed above, does not doing it make me a crappy mom? Nope. I’m still pretty awesome and still doing all the things I want to be doing. If there is something my kids need that isn’t on my list, I’m sure I can find a Mom who has it on hers. {I taught my 3 neighbor kids about Composting yesterday}

One mom making little robots out of juice boxes as Valentines doesn’t mean we all should. {That’s also not on my list by the way} It also doesn’t make her an over achieving mom. I guarantee her list of “all the things” is still only 10 things long too. But, if she wants heartfelt, uber crafty things on it, she can have that one and I’ll teach her kids how to Compost. #connectingmoms

Know your limits and your priorities. None of us, including and especially me are doing “all the things” all the time. You don’t have to either. Find your 10 and own them. You’re #momwinning every day you conquer your own list. You’ve got this.

The Sticky Side of Motherhood

This post comes to you from The Sticky Side of my Sweet & Sticky Stories on Motherhood. It is so easy for us moms to fall into the trap of self-doubt. We often see other moms and either feel guilty, jealous, or worse, depressed thinking that we aren’t doing enough to keep up. That my friends, is the worst thing and we should all stop right now. Do only the things that you love and that you value, nobody needs to do “all the things” I’m doing and I’m certainly not going to attempt all of your things. That’s not on my list.

Comment what isn’t in your Top 10 when it comes to “All the Things” moms are doing.

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Hi There! I’m Kandice
Wife, WAHM and mother to 2 Hooligan boys, sharing my Sweet & Sticky Story of Motherhood.
Life changes after 2 Toddlers {obviously} so now I’m sharing how I turn those every day #MomProblems into a Story of #MomWinning

The Sticky Side of Life

My Experience with Breastfeeding | The Good, Bad & Ugly

My Experience with Breastfeeding, the Good, Bad & Ugly. Normalize Breastfeeding. My Breastfeeding Story. My Struggle with Breastfeeding. I failed at breastfeeding. Breastfeeding Stories. Lactation Consultant. How to Ask for Help Breastfeeding. Nursing Back. I really wanted to love breastfeeding like so many other moms did. It is a natural next-step into mothering and everyone said it was so easy to do, plus the bonding is irreplaceable, etc, etc. I knew how important breastfeeding was and I studied it in every book I could just like everything else when preparing for parenthood. This first baby and I were going to rock this thing and continue winning at life, business as usual. But unfortunately, my experience turned out to be much different than hoped.

The Good | Breastfeeding at Work

Cash was born smack in the middle of wedding season, July 17th. This meant he and I had to go back to work asap. We had 8 weddings that month. At this time in my life, I had a big building I ran my business, Green-Eyed Girl Productions out of and it was the store front for my Etsy Shop. We had a lot of foot traffic, a lot of employees and now a newborn on staff. I ran the building so nobody could really tell me to go home. Cash and I went back to work {my building} for 45 hours a week when he was 2 weeks old until December 31, 2013, when I liquidated and shut down my building to work from home. How does this have anything to do with breastfeeding? I’ll tell you…

Baby Wearing in the Office

Going to work with a newborn wasn’t ideal, especially when your days at the office are 8-10 hours long, so I wore him most of the day in my baby carrier. With him in this I could run the register, follow around customers who were building their order and most importantly steam linens {yep, rental company, too} While I did this all day I literally breastfed without anyone even knowing. The baby carrier I used was the absolutely perfect accessory for me at the time because it had no straps and felt like a t-shirt. I was one with my baby and felt like the perfect embodiment of motherhood. We would only sit down to breastfeed when the customer ratio was low or if I could send an employee to the front for a bit. Life was great! Business Woman and glowing new Mom perfectly merged… However, my breastfeeding plan had some serious consequences.

The Bad | A trip to the Emergency Room

One night when I was rocking Cash at home, breastfeeding, I felt my back tightening up. Right between my shoulder blades, in the middle, it felt like someone had stabbed me with a giant knife and was turning it. I started to yell for my husband and when he walked in the door I practically threw the baby at him and fell to the floor. I was on my hands and knees, struggling to get air into my body in worse pain than my strongest contraction, and it would not end. It kept getting tighter and tighter which made my whole body contort as if being turned counter clockwise from an immobile center point.

“Nursing Back” is a thing

Billy called my mom who came over and took Cash while Billy rushed me to the Emergency Room. An hour of pain later I was in the ER being wheeled in a wheelchair back to a room when I suddenly said, “STOP! It’s gone” and then stood up out of the wheelchair. I turned around and looked at my husband and ER Nurse who was pushing me and they both looked as if they’d just witnessed an exorcism. The Nurse asked, “what do you mean gone?’ and I said, “I feel fine, it’s completely normal now.”

The nurse looked at me with crooked eyes and decided to still take me in for observation. A doctor came in and she explained what happened. He asked what I had been doing lately and I said, “breastfeeding, {obviously} we have a newborn.” At that moment he responded, “Ah, Nursing Back. Who is your lactation consultant?”  I told him and he told me to call her in the morning then sent me home.

The Ugly | I had failed at Breastfeeding

I went to see my Lactation Consultant a few days later. She watched me latch and asked, “How many kids do you have? Why are you here?” to which I responded, “Just this one, he’s our first.” She then said, “Well your latch is textbook” {and that made me feel awesome} but your posture needs a lot of work…. I was devastated. I still don’t really know why. Here is what went through my head in the next 30 seconds, sitting there with my lactation consultant fondling and maneuvering my boob:

I wasn’t doing it perfectly which clearly meant to me that I was a breastfeeding failure this whole time!

{I may have had too many hormones still, yes, we’ll go with that.}

Regardless, I felt like I had completely disgraced all the “successful” breastfeeding moms of the world. I wasn’t good enough to be on their team despite having studied all those books!

I’m a total mom fraud.

Reality Check Time

Thank goodness those thoughts only lasted 30 seconds. Thank goodness I was sent into the loving hands of a positive, warm hearted lactation expert who caught me in my fall from grace. Looking back now, having had a second baby and with Cash now 4 years old, I laugh a little at my ridiculous reaction to a mom life event. But in my defense, I had never heard anyone talk about a breastfeeding failure, ever. All I knew was that I should have been innately successful. But that my friends, is not the norm.

I now know that no matter what we do as moms, there will always be little failures {hopefully not ER failures again} but those don’t make us a failure. Here is my biggest takeaway from this story and why I write it 4 years later:

I was an incredibly naive first-time mom who thought she could learn everything by studying and reading “all” the books because that was my assumed “norm” for motherhood. I was very lucky to find the support I needed when I needed it most from a professional. There are moms out there in this world who are about to have naive moments and feel like a failure too. They are scared of breastfeeding or “doing something wrong” but shouldn’t be. Who will be their loving and warm-hearted support at the right time in their lives?

You’re not alone

If you are out there reading this right now and you think you’re failing at breastfeeding, you’re not. If you’re doing it at all, you’re doing it right! It’s hard, really hard, and even those of us accused of “having it all together” can stumble.

There is absolutely no shame in your struggle.

You’re #momwinning every day you’re trying and that includes moms who are using bottles, exclusively pumping or have even decided it was best for you to supplement. You’re doing it. If you’re struggling, know you have support and never be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. Breastfeeding may seem like a battle so we need an army of supportive women to get us all through it. It’s a battle worth fighting. Let’s normalize asking for help.

This post is written in honor of #worldbreastfeedingweek in the efforts to #normalizebreastfeeding

Thank you to all of you amazing Lactation Consultants out there! We need you and we would be completely, mentally, emotionally lost without you!

My Lactation Consultant | Miffy Davis – Womenscare

First Day Home Lifestyle Photography | Kelsea Joann Photography

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World Breastfeeding WeekHi There! I’m Kandice
Wife, WAHM and mother to 2 Hooligan boys, sharing my Sweet & Sticky Story of Motherhood.
Life changes after 2 Toddlers. {obviously} I’m sharing how I turn every day #MomProblems into a Story of #MomWinning. I’m building new Small Systems, Organizing Mom Routines and Making Mommy Money Online by Blogging.

The Sticky Side of Life

4 Ways I can Cheat Exercise at Home

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only mom in the world who is not looking forward to bikini season. In fact, I already know a few {but I won’t tell} who are dreading it just as much as me. It’s definitely not because of the warm weather or poolside lounging… no no, I definitely plan to embrace that. It’s more due to the few extra cookies I ate this winter, which happened to drag on forever. {insert Sandlot voice} Darn you Recipe Vault! And as much as I would like to hit the gym or take a run {that’s a lie} I just don’t have the time {that’s the truth} to leave the house. So, I stay in the house and cheat exercise on a daily basis. Let me show you the way…

4 Ways I Cheat Exercise at Home

Let it be known that I am most definitely not a personal trainer or fitness enthusiast. I am not a nutritionist or a doctor, but I am a former college athlete and award-winning volleyball coach who has spent 12 years talking about the importance of fitness with young women. I was put through grueling fitness regimes, tore muscles and won lifting records. So I get it. {read the bio} This post is meant to be a little funny, but true! I am now a mom who has been able to successfully fight off my muffin top by initiating a few fitness hacks into my daily lifestyle.

I’m sure that this post will make a few Fitness Instructors’ eyes twitch but hey, I’m just a mom now, trying to feel good about my post baby body 😉

For actual fitness advice please consult your nutritionists and doctors. But if you want a few tricks up your sleeve from a fellow muffin mom I’m here to offer some #momwinning.

*These methods are not scientifically proven to cheat exercise. Just ask my husband. You should still try to sleep exercise whenever you have a spare second.

Bedside Workouts

Literally, I have to walk over {trip over} the stuff I lift up in the morning. I place these awesome, garage sale dumbells at my feet, right on top of my slippers so that I have to pick them to put the slippers on. Once they’re in m y hand I can muster a few reps. The cheat here is the motivation. Regular, fit people would go get their lift on all by themselves because they’re motivated. I am not. I must make lifting an obstruction that I have to deal with to touch it.

Inconvenient Snack Placement

I’m well-educated in the actual math it takes to lose weight, gain weight and sustain weight, yaddah, yaddah. I have enough college athletics and coaching experience to have taught me all that. Which is probably why I can stack the odds against my own math. I know you already know this, but you’re the one who controls what you put in your shopping cart. You’re the one who can control what comes home and makes it into your body. We as moms all know that. But we also really want some darn chocolate sometimes, and I’m not going to just stop buying it. What if I really need it after a toddler tantrum? It needs to exist in the house, but here is the cheat:

The cheat is to organize it into your cupboard by height priority. Crap on the top, good stuff in the middle and the best choices on the bottom, easiest to reach when you’re running to binge. Now, I’m short, so the stuff on the top is going to take me a lot more effort to reach {I actually can’t reach it} if I want to put it in my body. Often days, since I know myself, I don’t even try. Therefore I’m not stuffing myself with crackers all day long. For a quick run down on that math situation: If you put more calories in than you burn, you gain weight. If you burn more calories than you put in, you lose weight, and if you can magically balance the two, well then, you’re probably not needing this post. I cheat exercise by avoiding higher calorie, less beneficial snacks by making them simply inconvenient to get to. which helps me balance my math.

PSA- That Pop Tart bin has been empty for 4 years after I read THIS ARTICLE and since I can’t reach it, I haven’t changed it yet.

Water Flush

This is actually my hardest cheat of the day, which is why I bring my husband into the game. In the morning, or perhaps even before bed, he refills all of these water bottles for me. It is then my challenge to drink them all before he gets home. I fail at this one a lot, but hey, such is life. Back up to that math thing, water is a great way to find balance and eliminate extra calories hiding in your drinks {Pepsi addict here} so I substitute all this water to keep me off the soda-sauce. Remember that this is a cheat post, not a healthy living, best practices post. I don’t have time for that or I’d have no problem with a bikini! I should also note that I write the date I got these bottle on them with a Sharpie and never reuse them more than one month. The internet tells me not to reuse plastic bottle very long!

Weighted Ankles

I actually like this one. It makes me remember my coaching days when I would wear these around the gym. Under my yoga pants {#momuniform} I attach one pound ankle weights. By lunch time I don’t even notice they’re there anymore. Plus, I think I sound a bit more intimidating to the boys when I come stomping into their room to break up a fight.

And there you have it! That’s how I’m slimming down after the winter. I’m really doing nothing more than modifying my everyday lifestyle. The best fitness option is obviously to eat well and take care of your body. However, if you lack the motivation and time these are my strategies for a little cheat 😉

*This post contains an affiliate link to the ankle weights


Like what you read?

Hi There! I’m Kandice
Wife, WAHM and mother to 2 Hooligan boys, sharing my Sweet & Sticky Story of Motherhood.
Life changes after 2 Toddlers {obviously} so now I’m sharing how I turn those every day #MomProblems into a Story of #MomWinning by building new Small Systems, Organizing Mom Routines and Making Mommy Money Online by Blogging.